Borrowed Time
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Phil and Melinda are determined to make the most of the little time they have left together. It's hard for both of them.


Once the Zephyr flew out of sight, Phil leaned over and kissed Melinda. "I can't believe I get to do that all the time now," he whispered in awe.

She laughed and grabbed his hand, mindful not to hurt him (fuck, she wasn't going to worry about that right now. She couldn't, or else it'd be real that the man she loves is dying). "Get used to it," she teased.

He looked at her in such adoration that it took her breath away. "I love you, Melinda," he finally admitted.

Her breath hitched and her grin nearly blinded him. "I love you too," she told him and she giggled when he kissed her again.

"We should probably go up to the beach house." Phil would have lifted her up and carried her himself - it'd be romantic as hell - but he didn't have the strength nor the energy to carry that move off.

"You don't want to have sex right here on the beach?" Melinda teased.

"I like this side of you. And as much as I'd love to, no sand in unmentionable places, thank you very much. I want to make love to you in a bed. Or on the kitchen floor. Or against the wall."

Her eyes darkened. "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Don't lie to me and tell me you haven't had fantasties," Phil teased back.

She tilted her head back and laughed. "Oh, I definitely have. But what makes you so sure they're about you?" Melinda shot back.

"Well played, Melinda May. Well played." Holding hands, the two of them walked up to the beach house. As much as he wanted to make love, the journey had winded Phil so much he needed to sit down on the couch so without complaint, she joined him and turned on the TV.

"You want to find a movie?" she asked, reaching for the remote.

"Sure." She searched through the menu before finding something they agreed on, and she ended up snuggling into his chest as the movie progressed. They ended up falling asleep about an hour or so into it.

* * *

Two weeks passed and although the world had nearly come to an end thanks to Thanos (the Avengers were working on fixing it, and Phil and Melinda's team was mostly safe, except for Piper and a few lower level agents), the two of them settled into a routine. Steadily getting worse by the day, Phil pushed himself to enjoy what was left of his life with the woman he loved. "You need to be careful," she chided as her heart pounded in her chest after he nearly fell walking to the bathroom.

"I was being careful," he replied, trying to defend himself.

"If you need any help at all, ask me for it. That's why I'm here. You don't need to strain or hurt yourself." He had nearly given her a heart attack, and she definitely needed to calm down. She didn't need to angry cry at Phil and worry him even more.

"You need me to hold you?" he asked, seeing right through her facade.

"I should be the one holding you," Melinda shot back with a glare before her lips curled up into a smile.

"I have learned that you are definitely a cuddler."

"Shut the fuck up, Phil."

"Make me."

"You want to go down to the beach and watch the sunset?" she asked, changing the subject.

"If you help me down, sure," he agreed.

"Of course." She grabbed his arm and then led him to the beach, getting him to sit down in a chair immediately. Melinda wrapped her arm around him and they watched the sun go down together.

"Almost as beautiful as you." Phil grinned at her when she turned to stare him, unimpressed.

"Nice pick up line." She needed to bring some levity to this or she really would start crying, and that was the last thing she wanted to do or for him to see.

"Hey, I mean it. Don't downplay this, Melinda." He needed her to know how he felt about her.

"I'm not.' She bit her lip when he picked up her hand and started rubbing her thumb.

"You mean everything to me, you know that? From the moment I met you, I knew you were the one. I just wish we hadn't wasted so much time."

"Phil, stop," she pleaded, tearing up and trying desperately to pull herself together.

"You don't have to be strong all the time. You can be vulnerable and fall apart - I won't judge you." His heart breaking, Phil had to keep himself from crying because she needed him to be the strong one right now.

"I will not do this," she hissed, wiping the tears off her face with one hand. Melinda stared at him right in the face and straightened her shoulders. "I love you, and you are the priority right now. I want you to enjoy the time you have left."

"That doesn't mean you can't cry." He hated that he was hurting her so badly.

"I'm fine," she told him in a clipped tone, and that was the end of the conversation.

Their night ruined, they walked back to the house (and had some angry sex because it was on his bucket list).

* * *

Melinda tried to stay mad at him for as long as possible but gave up on the silent treatment ten hours in. He laughed at her despite the fact that she was glaring at him. "If looks could kill, I'd definitely be dead where I stand. Could I maybe distract you with some more sex?" he asked hopefully.

"Don't even think about it," she snapped.

"Hey, I had to try, didn't I?" He walked up to her and closed the fridge door just so it would stop beeping.

She playfully swatted at him and laughed in surprise when he picked her up and put her on the counter. "Where'd you even find the strength?"

"You'd be surprised by how much strength I still have left. Didn't I just prove that to you, Agent May?" he asked her.

"Not an agent anymore," she reminded him before the two of them started making out. "Retired," Melinda reminded him.

"You're not going back after?" He hated himself for the question as soon as it was out of his mouth but he couldn't help himself.

She shook her head. "No, I'm done. For good this time. The team will be able to handle whatever shit is thrown at them next. I can't do it anymore." Besides, her injury kept flaring up to remind her that she hadn't properly treated it (but she wouldn't tell him that because he'd worry)

"Sorry if I ruined our moment." He really was because he just wanted to enjoy what was left of today.

"You didn't. Stop being so hard on yourself." She hated that he kept blaming himself for shit that was out of his control.

He fumbled with something in his pocket, and Melinda stared at him on confusion, wondering what the hell he was doing, when he held up the box. "Surprise," he murmured weakly.

"Phil, what the fuck is that?" Melinda whispered.

He opened it and tried to still his shaking body. "My mother's engagement ring. What do you say? Want to make this official? I know I shouldn't do this to you now but I want you to be my wife, Melinda." Phil was honestly surprised she hadn't found it before (or maybe she had and just didn't say anything but the look of shock on her face told him it was a complete surprise).

She nodded. "Yes! Of course, I'll be your wife, you idiot."

"I'll let that one slide," he laughed as he slid the ring up her finger. "I don't want to waste anymore time. Let's find someone to marry us."

"Fine with me." Staring at her ring in awe, she slid down off the counter and went to find the laptop. Upon discovering they needed a whole host of paperwork to get married (that they couldn't wait for because Phil didn't have the time), Melinda immediately called their resident hacker.

"Is Coulson okay?" asked a fearful Skye.

"He's fine," chimed in Phil.

"We have a question. Could you hack into a database and change some shit around so we can get married?" Melinda questioned, getting right to the point.

Silence for a second then a deafening squeal on the other end of the line. "What? What? Married?"

Melinda winced. "I'm glad we had her on speaker," she murmured to a laughing Phil.

"Of course I'll help out! When did this happen? How did this happen?" asked a frantic and clearly excited Skye.

"We'll tell you when you get here. We need a witness." Phil winced in anticipation right before she squealed loudly again and agreed to come as soon as possible.

"We're getting married." Melinda stared at the phone in a little bit of shock as soon as they hung up.

"Yeah, we are." He grinned and held up his hand to high five. She glared but gave in and reluctantly high fived him back.

* * *

Skye arrived only a few hours later and the first thing she did upon seeing them both was hug the newly engaged couple. "Let's get this party started!" she cheered, trying to ignore that Phil looked worse than he did the last time she saw him. She ushered Melinda into the bedroom to get her ready for the ceremony, which fortunately only took about half an hour.

As expected, she cried during the short ceremony as the justice of the peace married Phil and Melinda, finally making them husband and wife. "You feeling okay?" Melinda asked her husband (holy shit) about twenty minutes later.

He nodded. "Just a little tired, but I'm fine," he assured her. Then Phil grinned. "And how are you, Mrs. Coulson?"

She laughed. "You like that, don't you?"

"You haven't stopped staring at your rings since I put them on your finger," Phil pointed out.

"You two are so gross," chimed in Skye as she walked past them to the kitchen.

"Honey, the kid is disgusted," Melinda wrly informed him.

"Can't have that, can we?" He leaned over and kissed her again for good measure.

Skye only shook her head and headed back to the guest room after grabbing something to eat, so thrilled for them she was bursting with happiness.

Then things took a turn for the worst that night. Phil couldn't breathe so Melinda had to grab his oxygen mask. She talked quietly to him until the worst of it passed. "You hungry? Need a snack?"

"I am pretty hungry," Phil rasped. "But I've had your cooking before, Melinda, so don't even think about it."

"Shut up," she told him. She kissed him and then fled to the kitchen. While opening the fridge, a sob burst forth that she could no longer hold in. Melinda tried to be as strong as possible for him but it was hard to see him like this. She was losing him again, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. And she wouldn't worry him with her grief - that was the last thing she needed. She was so lost in her own thoughts she hadn't even realized Skye was right behind her until she pulled in her for a hug, eliciting a gasp of surprise.

It felt good to get everything out, and Melinda made sure to thank Skye before she left the following morning.

* * *

From then on, the bad days took control and Phil's condition only worsened. His good days practically disappeared. He had good hours, sometimes minutes, but she was right there by his side to help him through it. "I'm glad you're my wife. Should have married you a long time ago," he wheezed.

"No sense in talking about regrets now." Curled up around him just to stave off chills, Melinda didn't want to let go in fear his heart would stop beating. What if she missed it? She couldn't let him die alone.

"We've been married a grand total of seventeen days, Melinda." He choked, and she forced herself to keep looking at him. "I love you, and we were so fucking stupid to waste all that time apart."

"I love you too," she whispered, a growing sense of horror and numbness enveloping her. A tear escaped. "Fuck."

"It's okay to cry."

"Phil, please stop talking. Don't waste your energy." She didn't even care that she was begging him now. She couldn't lose him. Melinda had realized a long time ago that life could be unfair but this was fucking beyond.

He wiped a tear off her face. "So much time. You're the love of my life."

She bowed her head and started crying. "Please don't leave me, Phil. Please." Her whole body began to tremble and she wished it'd just stop.

"Love you," Phil murmured, his eyes starting to close. She stared at him in horror, squeezing his hand and silently willing to fight, but knowing it was futile.

A hand placed on Phil's chest to feel his heartbeat, Melinda murmured to him as it began to slow. When it finally stopped, she wailed so loud she was sure their neighbors heard it. She had thought nothing could be worse than his death at Loki's hands but how wrong she had been.

An empty and numb Melinda could only hold him and cry for the man she loved, who had fought so hard but had been living on borrowed time for the past five years.

* * *

The team showed up and cried with Melinda when she buried him just two days later. "Are you sure you want to be alone?" a red-eyed Skye asked her.

Melinda nodded, not really hearing her but getting the gist of the conversation anyway. She was thankful to have left Tahiti because now it held too many memories. Now she was going to travel the world and enjoy her retirement, if that was even possible.

Phil Coulson had been a part of her life for so long she didn't know what to do without him.

Two weeks later, staring at the doctor after he informed her she was pregnant, Melinda's hand wandered to her stomach. She still had something left of Phil (besides his rings and the memories) and intended to protect the life growing inside of her with everything she had. While she despaired at the thought of Phil never meeting their child, she knew how happy he'd be and for the first time since he slipped away, a smile lit up her face.

Life had found a way to surprise her, and Melinda couldn't wait for their little miracle. She'd do everything she could to make sure this baby survived and led a good life. She couldn't and wouldn't give up, not now. She had lost Phil but was strong enough to get past whatever curveball was thrown at her next. And now, she wasn't alone. Determined now, she stood up and for the first time in a while, looked forward to the future.

It was bright and hopeful and happy, all things she couldn't have imagined when Phil died, let alone years ago.


End file.
